I was always the curvier girl in my group of friends, living and growing up in California that never really fit the definition of Beauty. I felt like the black sheep, so high school flew by & I was on my way to college I flew 2,564 miles to what is one of my favorite places on earth… the beautiful island of Oahu. There on the island I lived with 8 girls in one 4 bedroom apartment who all came from different backgrounds & ethnicities. I learned so much from these girls they taught me some very valuable lessons. Looking back I made some of my absolute favorite memorize with them. It wasn’t just the people but the land that made me feel a type of inner peace that I had never actually felt before. I don’t know if it was the beauty of the earth or the kindness in peoples hearts but it started to give me a sense of acceptance. No body actually cared about what you looked like, yeah looks were a plus but people were content with the way they looked & that started to rub off on me. I had no problem feeling comfortable with myself after a couple months and that started to radiate. Later I came back to “California where the sun’s always shining a lot of people are shady” and I soon began to loose the self love I had felt so strongly in Hawaii. I tend to say that men smell the confidence like it was perfume so that being said I didn’t have much luck with men here in at home. I guess because I had been somewhere beside home I would compare the types of men I came across. For example in Hawaii men were of course MEN but they had a sense of appreciation & respect for women. They would look at you with eyes of sincerity. Here on the other hand men seemed to have this strange air of superiority, the motivation is fueled by self satisfaction. California men (& PLEASE don’t get me wrong I’m NOT talking about all men) tend to think they are God’s gift to women. It’s quite annoying going out to and having men act like one of your girl friends. One of the trips to NYC was so eye opening. I had NEVER felt like such a catch these men really put themselves out there when it came picking up women. On the subway, in a bar, at corner of a street through a window. It was all overwhelming and I will say Cat calling isn’t fun but when a guy really does talk to you & feel the waters it feels weirdly empowering. I wanted to know what it was that fueled them so I asked a guy who bought me a drink ” What makes you want to buy a girl you don’t know a drink?” he said ” you know what? I just want to find me a nice shawty who’s gonna keep me warm at night” & that’s when a little switch in my head flipped these men are really out here looking for love too. We shared a conversation that made me feel so good about myself he said “You are the first 10 I’ve approached this week that actually said yes” let me just say my mind kind of ignored everything he said beside the part were he called me a 10. ME A 10 IN HIS EYES?! that was a confidence boost in itself! but as the conversation went on he really shared his side of dating & women. He depicted us as very shallow humans & it broke my heart. When he in my eyes was a catch, he was funny, tall, had a nice smile & could carry on a conversation. I went on to telling him I was only visiting and before we parted ways he said “don’t ever let a man dull your shine because you are the whole package” & that my friends is how the East coast won my heart. He like Thousands of other single people were out in the city looking for love. So my advice to California men swallow your pride! don’t be sending your cute friend to approach us for you & don’t expect sex after buying us a 15 dollar cocktail because that’s just stupid if you offer its on you.