Let me be honest, I’m a closeted hopeless romantic. I read all the greatest love poems, watch all the chick flicks(alone). I’m not entirely sure why I feel the need to be private about it but I am. I consider myself a strong willed/minded individual and in a way it makes it hard for me & others to put themselves on my radar… Which in a way bugs be because in my head if someone really wanted to love me they would no matter the obstacles. I feel like Ive put myself out there for select individuals in my lifetime and somehow it either never flourishes or well to be honest I dont really know what the “or” would be. Im an all or nothing type of lover, granted that could come off intense but thats my kind of love and im not ashamed about that. One of the men I loved told me days before he walked out of my life ” You are the type of women every man wants to marry you’re the real deal” I started hate myself for that, I know that sounds harsh but its true. I couldnt stand myself, the thought that my love pushed someone I loved away irked me. I thought there was something wrong with me but as time went by I started to realize the men I was letting in were there because of Lust (love’s seductive twin) I was letting these things happen to me because I thought they were there for the “Right and genuine” reasons but once i started to see the pattern I noticed I had the power to decide, yet the illusion of love is so convincing. So now i look back and question did my excitement for poetry and love movies help me fall in love with the idea of love? these movies and books should have some sort of Disclaimer in them something along the lines of “beware not all that you see or read is possible” but then i start to think am I just bitter because it hasnt happened for me yet…will it ever? for my sake I hope it does… Ill be sure to keep whoever (if anyone) reads this posted.